Saturday, June 12, 2004 |
Stop, Thief! Cubs 10, Angels 5
Colón squeezes another one out
Time to put out the APB: Bartolo Colón has stolen $51 million from Arte. A theft of this magnitude usually doesn't happen outside of government agencies, but in this case, the thief was in fact a con man, a fellow of sly and scurrilous talent -- that is, a player agent.
This fellow must be hunted down immediately and jailed for the good of society.
In this case, he will be abetted by Mike Scioscia, who said after the game, "Bart's going to get the ball and he's going to work this out." Yes, and so long as he does, the team will continue to lose.
Gregg could have kept us in this, but it didn't go that way, and we're reminded of why he didn't break into the Oakland system. Everybody has bad days, though, and we forgive him... for the second time in a week. Maybe I just shouldn't say anything positive about any Angel pitcher.
Richard points out that the Angels haven't homered in like 6,734 at bats. I'm getting tired of seeing Vlad come up and single twice in a game like this one. I know, 2-5 is a fine day at the plate, but dammit, he's there for the over-the-fence threat, and between him and Guillen, we've almost forgotten what a home run looks like. Oh, wait, we've got the Cubs to show us that... Salmon's old. Anderson's got arthritis -- is it hurting his bat speed? Is he no longer a power threat? I wonder...
One question: bases juiced, Vlad at the plate. Why no Rally Monkey?
Halter. Mike. Just Say No.
Update: How about this laffer:
"The only time you would ever consider pushing a guy back or doing something with a guy with his talent is for health concerns. That's not the issue here.Right, like demoting Sele to the bullpen after his great spring, or demoting Ortiz after his awful starts. I think it's a fine time for Colón to develop a nonspecific injury, preferably to his shoulder.
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