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Friday, January 21, 2005

Where Are You When We Need You Most, Joel?

In a not-too-distant season --
Last year, A.D.-
There was this guy, Ross Porter,
Not too different from you or me.
He worked in the Dodger broadcast booth,
He was gettin' kinda long in the tooth.
He did a good job calling out the games,
But his bosses didn't like him
So they got another face.

They put in cheesy homers,
The worst they can find (la-la-la).
We'll have to sit and hear them all,
So to crap we are resigned (la-la-la).
Now keep in mind we can't control
Where Vin Scully begins or ends (la-la-la)
Because we've got Rex Hudler clones
To make the pain extend:

Dodger Roll Call:
Bradley!
Izturis!
Jeff Kent!
Drewww!

If you're wondering what the inning is
and other baseball facts (la la la),
Then repeat to yourself, "It's just a game,
So why do I want to axe
The Dodger Broadcast Team, 3000?"

Okay, so I really don't know how these guys are gonna be, but the early returns aren't good. And with that, I remind the reading audience that it's unfortunate we cannot legally hire Ross Porter to announce the games over, say, the Internet, seeing as how the Dodgers own the video and other descriptions of the game. Pity, because I have a feeling I'm going to be throwing things at the TV during the 52 or so games when Vin isn't working.


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