Tuesday, February 24, 2004
Turning Dodger Stadium Into An Abbattoir
Mr. Tid (Graham Chapman): Well, gentlemen, we have two architectural designs for this new residential block of yours and I thought it best if the architects themselves explained the particular advantages of their designs.Well, no, but that's about how I feel upon reading the very unsurprising rumor appearing in New York's Newsday that scouting director Logan White's job is in jeopardy. Paul DePodesta may be the architect of many things, but it's yet to be seen whether a championship team is one of them. And while, as Jon rightly points out, it's a bit premature for Jacksonmania, cutting the man who got us our highly-rated prospects chafes, badly.
<There is a knock at the door.>
Mr. Tid: Ah! That's probably the first architect now. Come in.
<Mr. Wiggin enters. >
Mr. Wiggin (John Cleese): Good morning, gentlemen.
Clients: Good morning.
Mr. Wiggin: This is a 12-storey block combining classical neo-Georgian features with the efficiency of modern techniques. The tenants arrive here and are carried along the corridor on a conveyor belt in extreme comfort, past murals depicting Mediterranean scenes, towards the rotating knives. The last twenty feet of the corridor are heavily soundproofed. The blood pours down these chutes and the mangled flesh slurps into these....
Client 1: Excuse me.
Mr. Wiggin: Yes?
Client 1: Did you say 'knives'?
Mr. Wiggin: Rotating knives, yes.
Client 2: Do I take it that you are proposing to slaughter our tenants?
Mr. Wiggin: ...Does that not fit in with your plans?