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Tuesday, February 24, 2004

A Regrooved Shawn Green

Comes now Green out of the general manager's office, buttocks and wrists smarting. He gives the now-standard speech:
"The new regime's only been here a couple of weeks," said Green, who is experimenting with a move from right field to first base this spring. "They've had a lot going on. It sounds like they've established a good game plan.

"I still feel right now the offense is much better than it was last year. There's the addition of Juan Encarnacion, who's a very solid guy and a really good run producer."

Jeez, Shawn, how does it feel to be a sock puppet? I guess I could stand it, too, if they were handing me Barry Bonds-sized tall dollars. But the humiliation... the frustration of having to backtrack on legitimate and wholly comprehensible anger and disbelief.

My boss in my first real job out of college told me that once you cross the $100,000 per year salary mark, the qualifications reduce to how much shit you can take. By that standard, Green currently labors in the Hyperion plant, moving the effluence one $92,500 shovelful at a time.


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