Monday, January 03, 2005 |
... Westernmost In Spam: Hormel Buys Out Farmer John
Hormel Foods, famous for churning out the don't-ask, don't-tell canned meat byproduct made more popular by Mormons and Monty Python, announced a few days ago that it will spend $186 million to buy out the Vernon-based Clougherty Packing Co., which has produced all of the Farmer John goods for more than 50 years.Considering the ingredients on the field are changing daily, wouldn't it be consistent to have the ingredients in Dodger Dogs change, too? Not only am I not looking forward to seeing the current revision of the Dodgers on the field, I can also anticipate with some horror the new All-Meet™ Dodger Dogg™...Dodgers fans have pigged out on Farmer John's Dodger Dogs at Dodger Stadium since the team's move from Brooklyn in 1958, and hearing Vin Scully pitch the company's shank and butt portions -- "the Eastern-most in quality and Western-most in flavor" -- almost made those otherwise inedible parts of the slaughtered scrap-eatin' swine sound delectable.
Will Scully's smooth sales pitch convince a new breed of snooty skeptics next season that the concession stands aren't pushing new top-secret-ingredient compressed, lovely, wonderful Spam Dogs soaked in sodium nitrite this season?
Company president Joe Clougherty says the change in ownership will not affect the recipe or grilling of the famous stadium dogs. We'll take his word for it, but someone better squeal on him if he's lying.
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