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Friday, April 17, 2009

The Monster Factory

Tell it to the dead.
"It was an accident," Gallo's mother, Sandra Sagahon, said. "He never meant to hurt anybody, ever."
But he had to know the possible and even likely consequences of driving with three times the legal limit of alcohol in his system. He did, because he signed a piece of paper that said as much.
Andrew Gallo was born in El Monte, Calif., on Dec. 10, 1986, to Thomas and Sandra Sagahon. Andrew is the younger of two children, and lived in Baldwin Park, Calif., before Thomas and Sandra divorced when Andrew was 5.

According to his father, Andrew took the divorce especially hard. "I saw a lot of anger," Thomas Gallo said. "He was devastated."

Sandra moved the family to San Bernardino, Calif., when Andrew was 14. Sandra said she was growing her family with her new husband, and they wanted to be closer to his work.

Away from his friends and starting anew, Andrew found the move difficult, according to his mother. "Maybe he was lonely," Sagahon said.

So naturally he gets rip-roaring drunk, t-bones a car while running a red light at 60 miles an hour, and then runs away — literally — from the scene of the crime.

I understand the family is grieving — they are in all certainty going to lose their son to the prison system until he's in his 70's. It's effectively a life sentence. But this kind of talk tells you volumes about how Gallo got to be the way he is: his parents let him get away with it, looked the other way, excusing everything that came before, to the point that now his life is de facto forfeit. It's an object lesson in how not to raise your kids.


The Gallo family says Andrew was trying to pull his life together, that he told them he was set to start a new construction job on April 9 -- the day of the accident -- and was talking about long-term goals of owning his own construction company.I know that whenever I start a new job, I like to make a good first impression, and I usually do that by getting wasted the night before and showing up totally hung over.
I love these grandiose plans I always seem to hear about people with a criminal records or are eternal "losers". (See Joe the Plumber) "He wanted to own his own construction company" Right, Gallo was obviously a real go-getter drinking and getting busted all of the time. I think a goal of "showed up to work on time and sober, for three days straight" would be enough of a challenge. Now he can have a new goal "don't drop the soap".
Unless you actually have experience in the process of trying to rehab an addict professionally or suffered from the disease yourself and are recovering from it.......you can't really comment on it with any authority.

Yes, this guy is still alive, and no I'm not making excuses for what he did..........but it is truly a tragedy for his family as well, they are losing their son forever and its just sad.

Bashing someone's parenting skills from your high horse is kinda presumptuous IMO. Life has a funny way of teaching humility to EVERYONE at one point or another. It would probably better serve you to leave that subject alone.
It's extremely difficult to take their words seriously, especially now that several people have been killed and one sent to the hospital. And it's pretty clear that his parents knew — how could they not? — about his driving on a suspended license.

I simply have no pity for them after reading this piece. It's crystal clear that his parents never held him to account for his actions before. And now he's going to pay a very stiff price for that.
This guy was 22 years old, what are they going to say........."you're grounded if you get into that car"?

Its not that easy...........as a parent you can't just simply flip a switch and exile your own child. Life doesn't work that way, things don't happen in black and white most of the time, they happen in shades of grey.

Again, I'm not making excuses. But unlike you, I do indeed pity them. They have obviously made mistakes, but as the saying goes, those who live in glass houses.......

As far as Gallo goes, he is at the mercy of the legal system and he will face dire consequences for his actions as will his parents through the loss of their son to prison for life, piling on isn't going to do any good.

What is most important at this time is mourning for the loss of those who were lost, anything else is just wasted energy.
This guy was 22 years old, what are they going to say........."you're grounded if you get into that car"?
Well, for starters, you don't hand him the keys to your own car. This is basic, basic stuff.
Here's what happens if you do that..........

1. you end up getting into a big blowup with your son, yelling and screaming ensues, etc. etc.

2. he ends up with the keys to someone elses car anyway, a friend, another family member, whomever and nothing is changed.

Again, unless you've lived through a situation like this, you can't possibly even come close to understanding it.
Wow, so she'd rather avoid an argument than potentially save the lives of innocents.

The depravity of that argument is its own answer.
I'm not saying that is what happened, I'm just trying to illustrate the fact that this isn't a situation that is black and white. When you're talking about a parent/child relationship, it complicates things. If you have children you know that, if you don't then its not something that you can possibly comment on with any understanding. Being a parent is one of those things that a person can't possibly understand unless they've done it.

Again, I'm not making excuses for his behavior, or for her behavior..........but calling someone's home a "monster factory" really isn't going to help anything.

When somebody starts trying to de-humanize another human being by calling them a "monster" (or by referring to another human being with a racial epithet or a homophobic epithet or a sexist epithet), thats the first step in them becoming de-humanized themselves.

This guy did a very bad thing, but nevertheless he is still a human being as is his mother. He is flawed, she is flawed...........and we are all flawed as human beings, that is what being human is.

I take umbridge when people try to de-humanize other people, and the title and tone of your post does just that IMO, thats all.
I find this kind of excusifying reprehensible, to say the least. Unconvincing and irresponsible, it's exactly the sort of thing that allowed Gallo to get to be where he is today: in prison, most likely for the rest of his life.
Thats all good and well, if you ignore the minor detail that I'm not actually making any excuses for him or what he did.

But hey, if it makes you feel better to stand on your sanctimonious little mountain top and hurl insults, who am I to stand in your way?

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